Godot..

Down the rusted stairs which go
round and round,
In that little white room-
That's where they met.
She came looking for the dreams he sold,
As he sat painting dreams with cigarette smoke...
She looked around,took a chair,
He weaved dreams into the air.
The keyhole brought in a streak of dust-
It went through the rings of smoke he drew.
A hint of smile played on her lips,
She knew this was the one she wanted.
He sold it for a tear and a half...,
And the bargain was made.
The dream would be lived when the westward wind
Would bring in clouds of rain.
The tears would be shed by these clouds-
On his broken windowpane.
She looked through the keyhole and felt the sun,
Maybe,tomorrow,it will rain again...

If I were a beginning, I would be:- the beginning of the monsoons
If I were a month, I would be: -October
If I were a day of the week, I would be :– Friday
If I were a time of day, I would be: - Dawn
If I were a planet, I would be:-Pluto
If I were a season, I would be:- Monsoons
If I were a sea animal, I would be:-Sea Anemone
If I were a direction, I would be:-Parallel
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be:-An old Rocking Chair
If I were a sin, I would be:-Lust
If I were a liquid, I would be:-the first drop of tear
If I were a fraud/scare, I would be:-"Peter the Cheater"
If I were a gem, I would be:-Emerald
If I were a tree, I would be:-Maple
If I were a tool, I would be –A Pair of Scissors
If I were a flower/plant, I would be:- A Blue Orchid
If I were a kind of weather, I would be:-A thunderstorm,digging up the graves of past
If I were a musical instrument, I would be:-a Violin
If I were an animal, I would be:- Tiger
If I were an emotion, I would be:-Melancholy
If I were a vegetable, I would be:-Lady's Finger
If I were a sound, I would be:-the distant strains of a flute
I were an element, I would be:-Fire
If I were a car, I would be:-Rolls Royce
If I were a song, I would be:-Fix you
If I were a food, I would be:-Phuchka
If I were a place, I would be:-the Marianas Trench
If I were a material, I would be:-Satin
If I were a taste, I would be:-the taste of soil in your mouth after a fall
If I were a scent, I would be:-the scent of a new born.
If I were a religion, I would be:-Courage
If I were a sentence, I would be:-the one on my gravestone
If I were a body part, I would be:-the cornea.
If I were a facial expression, I would be:-the right eyebrow lift
If I were a subject in college, I would be:-Modern Indian Drama
If I were a shape, I would be:-ellipse
If I were a quantity, I would be:-a yard
If I were a colour, I would be:-black
If I were a thing, I would be:-a Gramophone
If I were a landmass, I would be:-an island in the middle of the pacific
If I were a book, I would be:-"The Color Purple"
If I were a monument, I would be:-the leaning tower of pisa
If I were an artist, I would be:-colouring the town red
If I were a collection of poems, I would be:-Ariel
If I were a landscape, I would be:-the grand canyon
If I were a watch, I would be.- simple with a black leather strap
If I were God, I would be:-stressed
If I were a vowel, I would be: U
If I were a consonant, I would be: Z
If I were a formula, I would be:-(A+B)^2=A^2+B^2+2AB
If I were a Science, I would be:-Biology
If I were a theory, I would be:-The theory of fluid mechanics
If I were a famous person, I would be.:-A violinist.
If I were an electronic equipment, I would be:-an alarm clock
If I were sport, I would be:-Chess
If I were a movie, I would be:-The Pianist
If I were a cartoon, I would be:-Veronica Lodge
If I were an explorer, I would be:-Amerigo Vespucci
If I were a scientist, I would be:-a mad woman
If I were a relation, I would be:-a mother
If I were a river, I would be:-Saryu
If I were intoxication, I would be:-Ecstasy
If I were alone, I would be:-lonely
If I were a question, then I would be:-what the fuck?
If I were a hobby, I would be:-Painting
If I were a habit, I would be:-Putting the toilet seat down
If I were in an atom, I would be:-a neutron
If I were an end, I would be:-the end of time.
If I were you, I would be:-envious

it's crazy watching the rains from the english dept ledge...
rains have always been special to me...
those tiffin times at school when we ran around in the muddy field with our uniforms sticking to our bodies....
that run to the phuchkawallah when it rained in golf green...
those endless hours of chitchat and the world of gossips unveiled in that dark staircase...
that rainy evening ,that phone call as i ran to the tolly metro...
the gradual darkening of the sky...the clouds...the drops...
exhilarating.
the janpath shops which brought down their shutters....
the wet roads infront of eatopia....
the leaking roof of the NSD verandah...
those chats under the leaking shade of the hauz khas bus stop...
those movies watched at siri fort with hair dripping with water...
the runs through the field...splashing mud,singing,shouting...becoming the kids we were...

whether it's park street or punjabi bagh,gariahat or greater kailash...
the rains are just what they used to be...
magical,refreshing and exhilarating.

two weeks

two weeks in college!
i would be lying if i said i dont like it...what the hell,i seem to be loving it!
the majestic red brick building casts a spell on me each morning....the lush green lawn with the plants etching out the college emblem....the audi...the orientations...this is what i always wanted to do,always wanted to live through.
we have these huge railing-less french windows with wide seating spaces....this is where i am always found...barefoot,leaning down from the third storey,watching girls walk in and walk out...with their varied expressions,vivid bitchings and eyes which dream on...
but in the midst of it all,i miss home...the moment i find myself enjoying college,i pine to have shreya with me...my best friend with whom i have shared the smallest of joys and biggest of fears...the moment i dig into the bhel puri outside college,i miss suryaa who couldnt let keep her hands off my bhel puri back home,miss anindita when i smile to myself at some perverted hidden meaning i find out of prosaic stuff,which no one else gets...miss the corridor which takes you the library where this bunch of girls laughed away their times unaware of the years of solitude which were to follow...
but yes,i am not friend less here...made some of the cutest ones...virge,adreeka,zoya,nair,tara,sara....
they are the reasons why i dont cry for home nowadays...the tears dont come,but the heart aches and pines and the mind wanders off to the bustling gariahat more teeming with people,or the dingy JU corridors where my best friend is busy chatting up with her new friends...or the white house in Beniapukur lane where two souls dreamt their dreams together...
i love college,i love the siri fort audi,love the TGIF food,love the drive to Noida...but all that is reduced to zilch next to my love for the place i call home,the place where i loved and i hated,i learnt and i faltered,i met and i departed, and did so much more...

randomness

i am in a new city...
with new people...
talking a new language,
and walking new roads...
sometimes the newness just gets too much and i am made to crave...
for the dusty lanes i grew up in ...
the "aaste ladies" of the conductors...
the "phuchka" in the "shaal pata"....

and in short i am reminded and made to crave for the place i call home and this blog is the only remnant i have of it...
and i cant help but get back!!
so guys,i am back i think!

last post

This happens to be my last blog post. Maybe I wont delete my blog, it will be there bearing a testimony to the times I suffered under the biggest misconception of my life.

Right now, in this city, there happens to be around 60 people who write better than me so I would rather request you not to waste your time reading this “substandard” blog of mine.

Thanks to all of you who have read the incorrigible shit that I write and left behind comments.

I have loved it all this while...and I am sure it would have got only better in all the times to come.

But I am not worthy of better times...

Thanks a lot.

P.S:I don’t want your sympathies or your requests to blog again

i have been tagged

tagged??!!!i have always dreaded this....

8 things about me:
1.i am unapologetic.i don't repent anything i do-if i have been rude,the person was very well deserving of all the flack he got
2.i used to write stuff,but wont any longer.
3.i am one of those few people who do not like cheesecake-cakes are meant to be sweet and not cheesy(in taste i mean)
4.i have around 25 pairs of shoes which i seldom wear and 100 pairs of earrings which i use and overuse.
5.i am moody.very.(this should have been in the #1 slot)
6.i am too much in love with the city i live in,and would hate to leave it for even the best college in the country
7.i fear i might just end up doing that.
8.i am over rated-everyone overrates me.teachers,parents,boyfriend,girlfriend,senior,junior,sister,brother.EVERYONE!!!

...now do i have tag people??bull!!
i tag neel,indranil and anindita....
i hereby declare that i dont take any responsibility and not,in any way,am liable if the people i tagged dont reciprocate!!

i really don't know what is happening to me or to the world around.
people have become so selfish....no,i am not Mother Teresa part II,but the way old bonds are decaying,it will soon be time to bid each of my "friends" a goodbye.
maybe i am turning into a misfit,but i cant take this anymore....
smiles which lightened up my days have been reduced to a fake curve of the lips...words which meant a world to me are now half hearted attempts at trying to make me feel better.
i repeat,i don't know what's happening to me.
i see my old dreams realising but i don't want them anymore....i am rebelling,i am shouting back....
doing things i have never done...
this is the best of times,this is the worst of times...
i walk on with fragile hopes which break into a thousand pieces on some unknown footpath-trampled by a thousand strangers...
but i walk on...undecided,un planned and disillusioned.

*sigh*

Phew! I am done at last! It began sometime in the late Decembers....and it’s been going on since then.

After my bout of jaundice, I finally started studying for my boards in December. The boards exams came and went and soon trickled in the volley of law tests...umm, from what I remember, I sat for 6 of them, making through one, which I happily let go. Then of course, there were the colleges!

And boy, what an experience! My days were all about Xeroxing mark sheets, queuing up to get them attested, chatting up with the school receptionist and then haggling for the right school stamp. But soon the reality slapped me with a thud, and I realized it’s only the beginning.

Collecting forms was all done online and I collected so many that my computer auto saved my name, annual income, address and all that....

Then started the real thing...queuing up for colleges with a scrapped knee, with the guys in the colleges staring up you skirt...eugh!!! It almost became second nature to run through your battery of attestations everyday and sort them out according to the colleges’ demands...and man, what demands! Some wanted my father’s income certificate, some wanted my class VIII mark sheet and some my XI-XII mark sheets, which happen to be the best guarded secrets of my life.

The sun was at its hottest and the pseudo intellectuals studying in the colleges made it even worse with their smart ass presence around which couldn’t just stop bossing on little kids like us!

Delhi was a different story altogether...I dined out, I shopped, I played around with the kids and managed to take an exam somewhere in between! Ah yes, I also had a glass of apple martini and a sip of chocolate martini and realized that I am not made for alcohol...Gah! every sip seemed to be a gulp of fire which burnt my throat down!

If the forms were such ordeals, imagine what the tests were like...I, with almost all of the 18 year old population of the universe, sat through two hours writing pseudo essays, reading weird poetry, chewing our pens and then exalting at the end of the ordeal...

I waddled through knee deep water to get to one college only to be house arrested for three hours before we could take the test! And after the test I walked through stretches of dirty rain water with my trousers pulled up in an uncouth manner with the world’s trash hitting against my legs...I still cant bring myself to relate that walk down College Street without puking!

It finally ended yesterday...with some morbid poetry, preachy essays and deadly short notes!!...

And now is the time to wait for the judgments...whether you took your ordeals well, whether you will have to take the ordeals again and whether you have to keep writing sad stuff on your blog or write something which, for a change, will talk of a brand new beginning...and it is this wait, which is killing!

Last night I saw those shreds again-
Weightless, they kept floating
In shades of blue, black and green.
They kissed my eyes and sketched dreams never seen before.
We walked down the lanes as the clouds began to pour.
Our wet fingers touched and we saw our world through them-
Each new sun kissed the petals of a flower unnamed,
Every bird sang in tongues unknown.
We sat there watching the sun set-
Into our steaming cups of coffee.
We set our paper boats free-
In the gurgling sea-
Each guarded with a wish, a silent prayer-
Hoping for endless moments to share.
The shreds fast disappeared with the moon,
And I wished for them to be back soon.
For, if dreams really do come true,
I promise to dream of you.....


P.S: this one is doesn't have a name....so you could suggest....

timepass....

Your Love Song Is

Thankyou by Dido "And I want to thank you for giving me The best day of my life Oh, just to be with you is having The best day of my life." It's all good, as long as you're in love.

What Love Song Are You?

i sure am getting mushy....