Monday, May 7, 2007


LAW!!!

Some time back, this word would bring to me this image of a “secure” future. I remember ma’s sigh of relief when I told her that I wanted to do law...she was happy I finally acquired this thing called “ambition”....

January came and went...and I sat for this exam after studying for 2 days with a weak liver just outta jaundice. I thought I aced it but I didn’t. Didn’t even reach the dreadfully high cutoff.....

I guess that was the day I ran to the nearest window and threw my “ambition” outta it...into the grey oblivion of the city’s concrete skyline. Back came my old “ambition”-I really wanted to write. So the life of a journalist appeared so “Yeah!! That’s it!!”-ish. Legal ambitions fizzled out like gas from a soft drink can and I had a new “ambition”....(To god’s grace, I still do)

Dad said something about “job security”. What he doesn’t understand is that he never had a daughter who was meant for “secure” things...she was this girl who wanted to fly, and still does. She is this girl who has always searched for the meaning of the voices that go on inside her little head, always looked for the face behind the unknown call which always eluded her....the call of the future, the call of words...the call of rhyme and metre...

After 18 long years she sees the blurry outlines of those faces which called.....and it’s time she answers them......

It’s time she washes the dirt off her wings and flies off....

"Well I guess that you probably know by now
I was one who wanted to fly
I wanted to ride on that arrow of fire right up into heaven
And I wanted to go for every man
Every child, every mother of children
I wanted to carry the dreams of all people right up to the stars....."

17 comments:

Shreya Sarkar said...

nice...bit not your best(take my crtcsm in the proper way)

little boxes said...

aaah ofcourse not!!!
will show u my best when they give me the noble...

little boxes said...

ummm sorry
nobel!!!

Indranil said...

Ah, so, no more "must become a lawyer?" Good.

And that song is also brilliant.
Go fly..

little boxes said...

"must get english....
else maybe a sad lawyer"

Indranil said...

"must get english....
or lots of broken bones"

blue said...

am spellbound...! thats just it booey, how i wish I could say something like that before college...i could never express myself so beautifully!

Lucid Darkness said...

I'm no sadist, but I can't tell you how comforting it is to know that there are other people as insecure and uncertain about their future. I suppose it makes you feel that if there's someone else coping with the same thing, and trying to get over disappointment, it must be something which can be overcome in the long run. Otherwise, the world would be flooded with emo-s, right?

You've brought out your feelings very lucidly. Keep it up.

sublimely ordinary. said...

lyrical!
i find this ambition of urs more rational, more 'secure'[if u'll allow me 2 say so]...coz u CAN make words dance to your tune!
keep writing.

little boxes said...

thanks for ur supports

dropsofblue said...

It takes a lot of courage to do what we want..to follow ones dreams ..."job security" or not...dreams are the way to go!!

Opaline said...

E Lit graduates do more editing work than writing, actually, when it comes to journalism. Atleast the ones I know from my department. I think this insecurity stays forever, I still dont know what I want to do. Also, if you want to write, you need to work on your grammar a bit. =) Good luck with the entrance exams.

little boxes said...

thanks...ya i am working..
let's see what happens then....
umm...who is this,btw??

Ashi said...

lawyerly feelings much rather displaced than coming to a place and letting all the other ambitions rest. been there done that, not happy... not at peace

Opaline said...

Oh, it is the SrinandaGanguly. =)

little boxes said...

aaah ok!!!
glad to know u r alive!!

weevil girl said...

sjdhdjfjkhkj how amazing can one get with words?
i mean
WAAAAAAH!