to the yous

to some of the yous in my life...

you#1 you have made me proud! for once,you have made me realise that it's never too wrong to dream. i always thought you to be my little sister whom i would "bring up" with bits and pieces of advice,pep talk and all that.but then,i was wrong.i have so much to learn from you...grit,will and the power of dreams.

you#2 thanks for the 20th.it was one of the best days of my life-it was WOW!wine glasses,fries,truck driver songs and lots and lots of love.thank you for just being there.we shall do it again sometime.soon.

you#3 with people like you around,the world is definitely a better place.and you stay true to your name-you are MY friend.and though we've met just twice for about five minutes,the time when we hugged each other and cried like babies when we were strangers has been one of the most touching moments of my life!love you

muffled prayers

i know i was weak this time last year but dont let her be.
time makes you stronger,but she needs the strength soon.
teach her that things are not what they are meant to be.
they never are.
teach her that people always end up reaching the finishing line before you even you ran with all your might...
but also teach her that you dont always lose...there are days when the finishing line waits for you and you run through the ribbon,wrapping yourself up in glory.
while people watch you with tears in their eyes.
my prayers are with you.do well.

Eavesdropping

it was a Sunday and there was no metro.so the only option of getting to work was the Jadavpur-BBD Bag mini! given to my rotten luck,the only seat left vacant was one in the last row where a speed breaker feels like an earthquake.but this post isn't about my bus woes,but these two girls who sat next to me and their conversation.as a disclaimer,let me tell you that i have been blessed with the memory span of a goldfish,and this is the best i could coax my brain into remembering!

Girl 1 is a plump 17/18 year old in pink salwar and Girl 2 is another 17/18 year old in a black tee and jeans. i know they were 17/18 because they were talking of their HS exams and they were on their way to the ISI exam centre...
if i remember well,this was the day after the knight riders lost to some team in eden.

Girl 1: Shahrukh eto taka khoroch kore ekta poder team korte parlo na.
Girl 2 (evidently a SRK fan) : keno?dakh eta ekta khela.haar-jeet to legei thake.
Girl 1: Saurav ekta gadha.giye juteche arek gadhar sathe-batsmen dorkar batsmen.otogulo bowler niye ki labh!
Girl 2: shey to shob team ei golmaal ache.
Girl 1: ami to chai Shane Warne er dol shob shomoy jituk...eesh ki cute!
Girl 2: toke ei bus theke dhakka mere fele dewa uchit.
Girl 1: dakh jara khelte pare na oder ke team e rekhe ki labh? shob kota gadha.ar ekta gadhar moto gaan!kore,lore sheito harli.
Girl 2: tui kolkatar meye hoye ki kore kolkatar team kei kharap bolish?
Girl 1:Kolkata to bhalo,kintu team ta ekdom zoghonno (mind you its zoghonno and not joghonno) Kota kolkatar player ache otate?kokhono Ponting ar Saurav ekshathe khelte pare.Shahrukh er kono buddhi nei.
Girl 2: Bokish na,Shahrukh ja kore bhebe shunei kore.tui bujhbi na.Dakh tui Saurav er namey jai bol,Shahrukh er namey kichu bolbi na.
Girl 1: Shahrukh boka holeo bhishon cute.

Sadly,i reached my bus stop and had to leave inspite of dying to hear what the girls talked about once they were done with their round of tittering!
and i got down with a faint smile on my face and call it co incidence or whatever,some faraway auto radio was heard blaring out...
Korbo Lorbo Jitbo Re....


P.S:for non bengalis,i am sorry.i really cant translate all that-too much would be lost in translation :)

On your Birthday

Happy Birthday...
I wish you were here today- to see what a big deal politicians make out of this day,and to tell me how it feels to lose something for which one has had to strive all his life.
I need to know how one can write poems after losing his son, I want to know how it feels to see people making a God out of yourself.I would like to see what you would have created today when the blood being spilt is as red as the flag which veils the murderers.
I wish you were here today.

tomar ashon shunyo aji,hey bir purno koro
oije dekhi boshundhora kaplo thoro thoro.

update

the last few days have been very fulfilling.it feels good to do something instead of just lazing around at home.there was this one day when i took a bus to work-two girls who would be around 17 sat next to me and were discussing about SRK and the Knight Riders.i wish i remembered more of the conversation-it was hilarious!then of course i had my first byline,and as Brinda says, "there's nothing like a good byline".it's been tiring to run around the city in this heat but it was a weird kind of fatigue which made you feel good...
i went to school yesterday...that place fills me up with life each time i go.but it's not like it used to be.the girls are turning rowdier and absolutely crass.plus,there have been a lot of modifications to the building.it's true that change is the only thing constant in life,but i had hoped that this time the change would be towards the better.

tired

my first day of work.
phew.
i'm tired.
somebody give me a head massage,else i'll die....
going,going,going.....
gone

you and i

when we sat looking at the fan today and listening to that new song,i quite enjoyed the silence between us.it wasn't like those electronic silences we face over the telephone at the dead of night-in an alien city.this silence was like us-breathing,growing and wrapping us in a spell under which no word survived.
and finally when you said that we need to talk,i wanted to run to you and tell you that there's no need anymore.but then,i didn't run because i was there-right next to you,passing on my stories to you through my fingers.and i watched you turn my prosaic stories into songs with quaint tunes...
i watched,i moved and i saw-but never spoke.because you know what,this silence will keep us alive,and we'll be fine without those words which do very little except creating noise.we'll do fine with your quaint little tunes and my inane stories.
and thank you for days like today...
days which bring sunshine in days of thunder.

scribble from the back of a question paper

was done with it and didnt have anything else to write.so this is what i decided to do after completing a doodle :)
and yes,as a disclaimer,it's lousy and childish...

nascent tears,melted smiles.
lost letters,sepia eyes.
dreams telling you never to dream again-
never to tread upon those
half-eaten memories
of two lives walking side by side.
and yet,like an idiot who never learns,i cry every night.

p.s:i'm home :D

you know what,your stupidity and utter mindlessness have begun to tick me off..you used to make sense but it seems that you have happily bid that good habit goodbye.you become different people at different times...i mean,dude are you crazy?
really,i mean it in the clinical sort of way.need help?
i am scared for you,i really am.i maybe pissed with you most of the time but i am worried.very worried.are you ok?
will you be ok?
oh damn why the fuck should i care?
i need to get you out of my system.ASAP.

Developments

I have begun to hate escapists...people who dont have the balls to face life.they disgust me.we have started fighting a lot but we will pull through it all.tokai and i are sharing a room and we start dancing to 'we like to move it' at 2 am!
3 out of the 5 ordeals are over,and they have been good enough.
And,i met Raghu Rai today *drools*,so life's not all bad.

leaving...

I've never felt this scared of leaving before.it's not really fright,but this sense of lingering discomfort.maybe because i have exams to take once I'm back there,but that's not the whole of it...there's more to it.and the worst part is that i can't fathom what it really is.
i am scared of planes because they crash.it would be unpleasant to die knowing that someone you really like,hates you.i can't die with so many questions left unanswered.
questions populate my head and they,somehow,lose their way in search of answers...into the nothingness the plane floats in.
i don't want to leave...not this time.