Saturday, December 31, 2011

there are things i will remember of this year and things i shall try and forget.
but most importantly, i will remember this year as a year that taught me too many things, perhaps a little more than what i am even capable of learning.
one of the worst and the ugliest fallouts of my life happened this year over something so petty that i dont even remember details any more. what i learnt from it however is that some things are not meant to last, and it is better that way. but most importantly, i should never look back and call it a mistake because i loved the friendship while it lasted and will cherish the good things that came out of it.

losing people is like losing bits of you. so when amma left us this year i felt like a piece of me burnt with her and left behind a very deep scar.but then i figured that one lives with such scars and these scars are finally what you remember people by.i realised you never use "was" when talking of people because they always "are". at least, for sure, i know she is always with me.looking out for me- smiling when i do well, cringing when i eat beef but loving me all the same and still praying that i dont marry out of my religion.

a very long relationship came to a close but it has given me a friend who probably knows me better than anyone else-like the back of his hand. knows that i like postcards and fridge magnets more than chocolates and perfumes.
i met new people this year-people who crept in very quietly and settled themselves comfortably within the leaves of my books, the space between my fingers, the fold of my neck and the gaps within my head. they made up the bits of the year i'll try remembering when i talk of forts and palaces and autos in a desert town.

then there have been the people who i wish to keep with me forever-those faces that i see everyday, the habits i plan my days around, the favourites i have begun to love.these people are like the men in the studios who ask you to sit still, move your head from here to there and help you smile so that the picture doesnt get too blurry.
because too much movement always spoils the mise en scene.

if the coming year is to be an end, then it better be a beautiful one.
a very happy new year to each one of you.




14 comments:

Nilayan said...

I love the way you talk about people...i love the way you write.

Wild Strawberry said...

happy new year bedatri..
your words always touch my heart, brings light in darkness.
with much love n happiness,
pri

dreamer said...

Like always your post brings a smile to my face and your words- they remain with me for a long long time ..

Elendil said...

Bhak. End. Nothing ever ends.

Wondering Wanderer said...

it's strange how we move form one stone to another..every stone adds its smells....but still we move on

Angika said...

Happy new year, Riya. The current picture on the top of your blog is perfect for 'buckets of rain' :)

Nefertiti said...

as always loved the post...

and happy new year. may you continue to weave magic with your words

Astraeus said...

and this year will bring greater levels of happiness and satisfaction :)

sujaan said...

the habits i plan my days around - smart :)
revisited blogging after a while, and loving it :)

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Anindita said...

Love the way you look at people and relationships, lost or otherwise...lots of love

Aruni RC said...

wonder at times are the places we visit made memorable by the people we visit with. the walks more poignant when we recall the ones who are not walking with us anymore.

Magically Bored said...

I realise I'm a little late in the day, but hope you have a wonderful 2012.
And I do agree with what you said about scars - they remind us of the past and of the people who've been in our life. I've learnt over time, though, that scars fade, but never completely heal. Or maybe that's just me.
And don't have regrets about any relationship/friendship that ended. Sometimes, they do - it's just as black and white as that. Generally, the idea is to pick up the pieces, and carry on with the memories.
Hug. :)