to you two

there was something i wrote when you two got together in my old blog,but i guess i deleted it for some reason.
S,if you remember,i asked you if you are seeing her even before you did...and then that day when you said that you are,i guess i had a "oh i knew that" expression on my face.but today,after two years,i cant really bring myself to believe the truth she told me.
if i ever knew two people whose sense of security has been immense,it would have to be you two.i don't know why,i still cant internalise the truth...
it's like one of those weird things that you hear from somewhere but you know that it aint true.i wouldn't have believed if someone else told me,but it was her...
i know she is brave.but there are battles which you fight with yourself,and i am hope she is brave enough for them and as for you,S i really don't know.guess i never knew you enough inspite of those late night chats.
but to you two,i really hope this was a bad dream i have been dreaming,and you guys need to wake me up.sooner,the better.

there haven't been many times when i have felt this proud.
proud of belonging to someone like you.
though there was very little i could hear,i know you were playing my song.
like you always do...
there was a song i once sung as a child and then i lost the tune somewhere...
the sun had gone down when you started strumming today,but i knew the tune was back.
my tune.your tune.our tune.
i knew it was you who would keep strumming my pains with your fingers and turn them into harmonies that meet applause...
i am proud of you.
i love you.

on a blogging spree

you wont believe what happened today...
it was just another day at work and i had a book reading to cover. Ipsita Roy Chakraverti was reading a Paulo Coelho book(for those who havent heard of her,she is the founder of the wiccan brigade in calcutta)...i am not much of a believer,have never been one.but then when she said that there's someone on her right whose sister is going through a turmoil,i (sitting on her right) remembered Diya and realised maybe she was talking of me...i have been too shocked to think of it after that!
the wonders of the world never cease...i tasted the world's weirdest tea today.at the Cha Bar,some weird Ayurvedic piss like tea thing which two of my very esteemed friends ordered.i gave up after a few sips but my dear friend attempted to swallow it like tequilla with a spoonful of honey trying to act like the lemon slice's sorry substitute.thank god,she didnt puke.saved us the trouble of ordering for newspaper to clean it!!
then we bumped into a weird guy who eyed N in KFC and told him that only Mc D sells wraps and then the weirdo bowed to S as if to acknowledge her esteemed presence...if that wasnt enough,he walked to the gate,turned and waved at me and consequently followed it up by waving at all three of us from the car window!
and somewhere in the middle N got approached by pimps who asked him whether he wanted a "school girl" or "hostel girl"!!
park street,i tell you,is the place where you run into the weirdest people on earth.
wooh,what a day!

to the yous

to some of the yous in my life...

you#1 you have made me proud! for once,you have made me realise that it's never too wrong to dream. i always thought you to be my little sister whom i would "bring up" with bits and pieces of advice,pep talk and all that.but then,i was wrong.i have so much to learn from you...grit,will and the power of dreams.

you#2 thanks for the 20th.it was one of the best days of my life-it was WOW!wine glasses,fries,truck driver songs and lots and lots of love.thank you for just being there.we shall do it again sometime.soon.

you#3 with people like you around,the world is definitely a better place.and you stay true to your name-you are MY friend.and though we've met just twice for about five minutes,the time when we hugged each other and cried like babies when we were strangers has been one of the most touching moments of my life!love you

muffled prayers

i know i was weak this time last year but dont let her be.
time makes you stronger,but she needs the strength soon.
teach her that things are not what they are meant to be.
they never are.
teach her that people always end up reaching the finishing line before you even you ran with all your might...
but also teach her that you dont always lose...there are days when the finishing line waits for you and you run through the ribbon,wrapping yourself up in glory.
while people watch you with tears in their eyes.
my prayers are with you.do well.

Eavesdropping

it was a Sunday and there was no metro.so the only option of getting to work was the Jadavpur-BBD Bag mini! given to my rotten luck,the only seat left vacant was one in the last row where a speed breaker feels like an earthquake.but this post isn't about my bus woes,but these two girls who sat next to me and their conversation.as a disclaimer,let me tell you that i have been blessed with the memory span of a goldfish,and this is the best i could coax my brain into remembering!

Girl 1 is a plump 17/18 year old in pink salwar and Girl 2 is another 17/18 year old in a black tee and jeans. i know they were 17/18 because they were talking of their HS exams and they were on their way to the ISI exam centre...
if i remember well,this was the day after the knight riders lost to some team in eden.

Girl 1: Shahrukh eto taka khoroch kore ekta poder team korte parlo na.
Girl 2 (evidently a SRK fan) : keno?dakh eta ekta khela.haar-jeet to legei thake.
Girl 1: Saurav ekta gadha.giye juteche arek gadhar sathe-batsmen dorkar batsmen.otogulo bowler niye ki labh!
Girl 2: shey to shob team ei golmaal ache.
Girl 1: ami to chai Shane Warne er dol shob shomoy jituk...eesh ki cute!
Girl 2: toke ei bus theke dhakka mere fele dewa uchit.
Girl 1: dakh jara khelte pare na oder ke team e rekhe ki labh? shob kota gadha.ar ekta gadhar moto gaan!kore,lore sheito harli.
Girl 2: tui kolkatar meye hoye ki kore kolkatar team kei kharap bolish?
Girl 1:Kolkata to bhalo,kintu team ta ekdom zoghonno (mind you its zoghonno and not joghonno) Kota kolkatar player ache otate?kokhono Ponting ar Saurav ekshathe khelte pare.Shahrukh er kono buddhi nei.
Girl 2: Bokish na,Shahrukh ja kore bhebe shunei kore.tui bujhbi na.Dakh tui Saurav er namey jai bol,Shahrukh er namey kichu bolbi na.
Girl 1: Shahrukh boka holeo bhishon cute.

Sadly,i reached my bus stop and had to leave inspite of dying to hear what the girls talked about once they were done with their round of tittering!
and i got down with a faint smile on my face and call it co incidence or whatever,some faraway auto radio was heard blaring out...
Korbo Lorbo Jitbo Re....


P.S:for non bengalis,i am sorry.i really cant translate all that-too much would be lost in translation :)

On your Birthday

Happy Birthday...
I wish you were here today- to see what a big deal politicians make out of this day,and to tell me how it feels to lose something for which one has had to strive all his life.
I need to know how one can write poems after losing his son, I want to know how it feels to see people making a God out of yourself.I would like to see what you would have created today when the blood being spilt is as red as the flag which veils the murderers.
I wish you were here today.

tomar ashon shunyo aji,hey bir purno koro
oije dekhi boshundhora kaplo thoro thoro.

update

the last few days have been very fulfilling.it feels good to do something instead of just lazing around at home.there was this one day when i took a bus to work-two girls who would be around 17 sat next to me and were discussing about SRK and the Knight Riders.i wish i remembered more of the conversation-it was hilarious!then of course i had my first byline,and as Brinda says, "there's nothing like a good byline".it's been tiring to run around the city in this heat but it was a weird kind of fatigue which made you feel good...
i went to school yesterday...that place fills me up with life each time i go.but it's not like it used to be.the girls are turning rowdier and absolutely crass.plus,there have been a lot of modifications to the building.it's true that change is the only thing constant in life,but i had hoped that this time the change would be towards the better.

tired

my first day of work.
phew.
i'm tired.
somebody give me a head massage,else i'll die....
going,going,going.....
gone