Monday, March 17, 2008

Back

Airports are the only places which have become constants in my life. Living dual lives in cities tucked away in two different corners of the country, change has become a part of me. The chic flyovers give way to the potholed roads through that one journey made from one airport to another. At times, I feel like Ila from Amitav Ghosh’s “Shadow Lines”-I begin to understand her confusion at having to switch lives as she traverses a journey connected only by two airports. Places condition a life. Thus, with places, people change and lives change. Coping with changes are always difficult, especially when these changes are thrust upon you suddenly. But then, somehow, you live on. Airports become the only places which stand looking similar, even in different places. They, thus, become the only constant tile in the shifting mosaics of one’s life.They say, the only thing constant in life is change.
Things at home have changed, people have changed...or maybe, I have.
I had met this girl when she was three-I used to pull her cheeks really hard till she cried. There were times when someone had to put some antiseptic on her cheeks after the session of rigorous cheek pulling was over. I saw her grow up-from the chubby quiet little girl to a woman of words. She spoke with a conviction unmatched by anyone else. We had walked the same path for quite sometime-refusing to let change come in the way. But today, finally, change has brought down the house of cards we built and tried to guard against the winds of change.

I feel stupid and wronged. But maybe, even I have wronged.

Someday, after years of silence, a stranger will find this piece of writing and read it. All that will remain are these words-no masterpiece, but just a string of disjoint words.
For now, I move-just move without a meaning. I forget her. I forget that there was someone I walked this road with...till we forced each other out of our orbits. But somewhere, sometime I look at a shooting star and wish...wish that that long forgotten person would forgive me. Once again, forgive me. Forgive me for making it my tragedy.

P.S:huge problem with formatting


13 comments:

onnesha said...

i dunno who u were talking about there.but it did ring a bell.
and i am never quite able to figure out whether its me who has changed or everyone else around.

Neel said...

Life teaches us many things. It taught me to learn and it taught me to change. However....it can't happen consciously. Change is the way of life. We learn to accept it unknowingly.
PS. Yours was a fantastic piece of writing. Crisp, continuous and mature!

The Mad Girl said...

khub sundor lekha ta! khub mature!.
yes we change, times change.I never can understand if I have changed for better or for worse!and yet...people keep telling us...'don't ever change'. ironic na?

Bubbles of FireWhiskey said...

i was the one who was always getting her cheeks pulled in class... and i'll agree with neel... life teaches you so many things and you have to change and adapt to that...

"Someday, after years of silence, a stranger will find this piece of writing and read it. All that will remain are these words-no masterpiece, but just a string of disjoint words."

- my fav lines...

little boxes said...

@onnesha:thats true of everyone ya.and i doubt whether you know her
@neel:thank you.yup i know change just happens even if you dont want it to
@the mad girl:verrry...and we cant really help changing,can we?
@bubbles:thanks so much and its all about playing along whatever life throws up at you

rOhit said...

No 'gyaan' from my side.
Nice blog!

And if I may say - You write good!

PG said...

Interestingly written posts. Interesting photos on your Flickr page too. I'm tempted to know more about some of those stories, and would have asked questions but I'm afraid it might be construed as nosiness. :)

:: Clouds :: said...

I guess I know whom you're talking about.

*hug* winds of change,eh?

some relationships survive the winds.others are tossed into memories.
and we change - change "happens" but changing with this change is fuckin' difficult.

little boxes said...

@rohit:thanks
@pg:some stories remain best untold...
@clouds:thanks hon,but the problem lies in the fact that you never want to change but somehow,it gets you and makes you,no matter how much you resist

Pongy Papaya said...

love it(talking of it as a piece of writing).
love it more(talking of it as a part of you).
whoever 'she' is, the sea of change will hit the low tide too..then she will realize..she should!

Lucid Darkness said...

The analogy with airports and constancy is rather interesting...
Although, I've found that there is no real constancy anywhere.

Perhaps some people aren't meant to travel with you on your journeys, however long your last flight together was. You don't have any choice other than cherishing the memories of the good times and being indifferent about the falling out. It's the only way to avoid bitterness of any sort. Hard, but yes, it's the only way.

little boxes said...

@pongy papaya:it doesnt really matter now...now that what all i thought has been given a vent and is out :)
@LD:thanks LD,but no one's bitter really...as the post says,nothing's constant so this feeling bad over spilt milk will also change :)

Burberry Princess.. said...

right.. those damn airports..

:)